Attend to Your Awareness

by Becky Riley Olin, LCPC, MT-BC

In our collective experience we have been facing many devastating global issues, weather events, and human suffering alongside intense emotional experiences in the U.S. political realm and recent election. As the world becomes so deeply divided, it can be hard to imagine where a sense of interconnection and unity might be found. As polarization grows more extreme and uncertainty and fear about so many aspects of life increase, it can be an opportunity to look and feel deeper inside ourselves. Directing our awareness towards what is arising inside ourselves allows us to attend to the truth of our experience. As we attend to our awareness and our inner experience, we invite opportunities for shifts in consciousness and greater access to calm, connection, clarity, compassion, choice, and courage. These qualities are incredibly needed in our world right now and in the months ahead.

As we attend to our awareness and our inner experience, we also invite opportunities to use our awareness to inform our choices and decisions. What an opportunity we all have for ourselves, our children, and future generations to make informed, conscious decisions from this place of awareness and inner knowing. As we courageously turn toward our inner experience with awareness and presence, we will experience greater embodiment, creative potential, connectedness, peace, and vitality inside ourselves, and this will impact generations to come. I imagine our own practices of awareness rippling out into the world, touching many lives. I think we can all agree that this sacred mending of the world is so needed right now.

Rick Hanson writes, “And even deeper is a fundamental stillness in your ground of being. Slow down, be gentle with yourself, and you can find this quiet between and beneath all the busy thoughts and feelings and desires. This innate peacefulness, infused with love, is our true home, a reliable refuge and source of strength under all conditions, including sometimes an unreliable and scary world.”

May we be gentle with ourselves. May we feel connected to ourselves and to all living things. May we experience true belonging, inside and out.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

By Denise Migliorini, LCSW-C

Here we go again. October, the month of breast cancer awareness. The month when pink dominates the store shelves and companies pink wash their advertising.

October is also the month I started treatment for breast cancer 6 years ago.

This October, I want to share how to support people who are battling cancer and the awful/life saving treatments that many endure throughout the process.

I often get calls or texts asking “what can I do that will help [my loved one]?” Or “what advice would you give?”

Here are my answers:

-Food, food, food. Healthy and freezer friendly meals and snacks. Grocery delivery of perishable items or gift cards to a local store as a back up.

-Laundry service. This is a life saver for our low energy days and over stretched partners.

-Rides to treatment. Chemo shuts your body down and radiation brings terrible fatigue.

-Decorate their house for holidays. I never knew I wanted this until some people did it for me.

-Clean their house and their car.

-Ask them how they’re doing…and listen! They haven’t forgotten they’re sick. It’s probably 50% or more of what’s on their mind already. Be open to anything they have to say. Speaking out loud the scary thoughts, the hope, and the fears are all important.

-Don’t tell horror stores or try to spin it positive. Just be open to what the person says and needs.

-Provide hope, not horror stories (yes, I’m writing that again).

-Believe they will heal, feel better or find peace.

I know these tips are helpful because of my village, my amazing community, my family and friends.

Thank you to all the caregivers, and I stand with and hold up all the fighters.

Coping With Stress in the NICU

By Gina Rossetti, LCSW-C

September is NICU Awareness Month! So with that in mind, I wanted to offer you a few ways to support yourself and others if you ever find yourself or someone you love parenting in the NICU.

My introduction into parenting involved an unexpected and multiple months long stay in the NICU. It was an emotional and eye opening experience in which I had to learn to parent while my baby was hospitalized and while collaborating with a multidisciplinary team of medical professionals. That time was full of hope filled highs (goodbye breathing support!) and exhausting lows (another delayed discharge date). Through that experience, I realized the limited support that exists for NICU families, and it changed my clinical practice forever. 

The NICU stands for Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. It's important to know that families with a baby or babies in the NICU often experience birth trauma. Although this can be related to the birth itself, the trauma can also be associated with conception, pregnancy, and/or postpartum events. We often think of the physical trauma associated with perinatal experiences, but it's important to remember that trauma can also be emotional and psychological. 

Having a baby in the NICU and experiencing birth trauma are both risk factors for postpartum mood disorders. Unfortunately, this makes families with a baby in the NICU at significant risk for anxiety, depression, and post traumatic stress. 

About 10-15% of babies go to the NICU. While babies are in the NICU for many different reasons, the most common are preterm birth, low birth weight, and health concerns that require specialized medical care. This means that parents are typically dealing with many professionals on a daily basis. While these medical professionals are often supportive and trying to be helpful, parents often feel overwhelmed and overstimulated. This makes it especially difficult to develop a parental identity and advocate for themselves and their child. 

A few things to remember:

Although not all families with babies in the NICU experience trauma, the situation is often stressful and parents typically have strong and complex feelings. 

Each parent is likely to deal with the stress and/or trauma differently and may have very different feelings and capacities to cope. 

Grief, guilt, anger, helplessness, sadness, fear, overwhelm, and hope are common feelings in the NICU. It can feel like a rollercoaster for families. 

Ways to help:

Parents often feel like they've lost their peer group because having a baby in the NICU is so different from the typical birth experience. Given this, connecting with other NICU families can be very helpful. This can be done through support groups offered at the hospital or a local therapist. I have one that I offer a few times a year (please reach out if you need support!). 

It is important for parents to take care of themselves and feel supported so that they can care for their baby. Parents should be encouraged to ask for help and/or accept help. This might look like bringing them dinner or sending a gift card for coffee. It could also be listening to them and validating their feelings. It's also so important to encourage parents to take breaks. This may mean taking a walk and leaving the unit at the hospital or taking some time at home to rest and recharge. 

Finding their parental identity and noticing ways they can parent in the NICU is very important. This may look like connecting with their baby through touch or talking to them, advocating for them at the hospital, and reading or singing to them. 

Both birthing parents and non birthing parents need support. It's important to remember that the non birthing parent is also part of the baby's care team and should be considered. Checking in on fathers and other non birth parents is so important. 

Finally, parents and families do not have to do this alone. You can reach out to your support system, staff at the hospital, specialized NICU focused professionals (I recommend Clara at The Baby Barista for lactation services), and mental health therapists for extra support. 

“Cool, Calm and Connected”

The Need for Connection in Parenting

By: Debra Boblooch, LCPC, LCPAT

As a mother of three young children, it can be challenging to meet all their needs all the time. Someone inevitably must wait their turn, their chance to chime in on the topic of conversation, or simply connect-whether that be physical (a hug, hand holding) or just spending time with me. As I have navigated what seems like constant growth and development of these young minds as a mom, I remember discussing with my pediatrician the challenges I was facing in terms of outbursts, meltdowns and what appeared to be dysregulation. She said something to me that has stuck throughout the years, particularly during pivotal adjustment and transition times which was… “try your best to find 15 minutes of daily connection time”.

As a therapist who focuses on treating children and adolescents, I emphasize a connection-based approach throughout my sessions and use it to educate parents, caregivers and families as a modality to aid in behavior change and tackling the root of the issues. Connected parenting combines limit setting and boundary creating along with gentleness, close attachment, love and connection. The ability to strengthen a parent-child relationship through connection will result in a child to feel heard, feel seen, validated, and ultimately heal big emotions that they are experiencing. Learning a more mindful approach to parenting to make “connections before corrections” can improve the child’s ability to regulate feelings and externalize them safely and efficiently.

When a child is experiencing big emotions, their brains are activated typically resulting in a “fight/ flight” response. At this moment they are unable to access the ability to comprehend when a parent or caregiver is attempting (with good intention) to reason with them or explain the consequences of their actions. Instead, try connecting with the child by welcoming their feelings, listening and empathizing. This creates safety. Once the child feels safe, they will begin to feel more relaxed, cooperative and ultimately closer to you. Slowing down and listening not only shows the child that you are showing up for them by being fully present, but it also will allow for you to see things from their perspective. By mindfully choosing to connect over reacting or attempting to rationalize with the child in the heat of the moment will help you to see the reasons for the behavior and aid in regulation of your own emotions.

Remaining “cool, calm and connected” can be really challenging when anger is present among a child. But by staying patient and calm in the face of their anger is key if you want the more vulnerable feelings to surface (sadness, fear). Ask yourself, do you have to resolve the problem right then? No. Just listen and acknowledge feelings. Remind yourself that connection starts by listening and embracing or offering a hug can go a long way too. I continue to strive to find 15 minutes daily to connect with each of my littles, whether that be bedtime chats, bathtime play, or holding hands while walking around the house. My intention to connect more initially sprung from a desire to seek guidance on how to handle toddler meltdowns and dysregulated behaviors but quickly shifted into a daily habit aiding me in becoming a more present and regulated mother.

What is a Systemic Constellation?

Written By: Gayle Bohlman, LCSW-C

When you look to the night sky and see a constellation such as the Big Dipper you are seeing individual stars that are all part of a larger system and that system is clustered together in a visible way. Systemic Constellations are a way to represent any system that we are one part of and visually represent all of the parts of that system.

I have been exploring this therapeutic method originated by Bert Hellinger. It offers so much insight that working with an individual client alone may not reveal. When we look in on things from the perspective of what is included in the system, what might be missing from the system, and how the parts of the system are oriented to and in relationship with the other parts of the system some clarity can arise in what systemic change might be needed to promote individual healing and growth.

For example, imagine a woman trying to find herself in her current life

circumstances. If she could constellate the women ancestors that came before her, what insight might she have from their experiences and wisdom, and what resources might she feel as she allowed herself to feel the support of those standing behind her?

Here is a constellation exercise you could try on your own. Imagine a problem you are seeking to solve, a decision or choice you are trying to make, or a repeating pattern you are trying to change. Choose 3 objects, each to represent a part of this system. One object represents the problem, issue or pattern. The second object represents that which supports or resources the resolution. The third object represents that which opposes or prevents resolution. As you sit with this constellation of objects allow yourself to feel into each of the objects and just notice what arises within. You may have a thought, a feeling, an association or image which will offer insight or possibilities. If we were working therapeutically, we might then make some movement or rearranging in the objects, or bring in some additional object to represent some resource that is needed, or something that has been left out that belongs to this system.

The Power of Nature

Written by: Cintra Harbold

I met with nine-year-old “Tim” once in person with his father before COVID 19 shut things down in March 2020. Tim presented in my office as shy, but also talkative with quite a vocabulary. For two-plus years I saw him only through telehealth, once-a-week... Not the optimal scenario for a creative boy with ADHD! Dad informed me that he and mom’s main objective for Tim’s therapy was to provide him the opportunity to “talk to someone.” Tim had experienced some “tough things” in his life already and really needed a patient and understanding set of ears to listen to whatever he had to say. I knew I would face some challenges in engaging this energetic child on screen, but I was open to it.

In the Fall of 2022, I attended a training sponsored by the Center for Nature Informed Therapy to become certified as a Nature-Informed Therapist. The training empowers mental health professionals to integrate the healing aspects of nature into clinical practice using research-based knowledge and practice. Being a nature-lover myself, I knew I wanted to incorporate this into my practice.

Tim turned 11 and not being able to see him in person, I was stumped as to how I could incorporate nature-informed content into the session. I decided to share my screen with him and showed a video of a “virtual walk” in a wooded area along a stream. There are several on YouTube, including a series called “4K HD” filmed in various settings. I had created a “scavenger list” of things for him to look for in the video including things like “something that is blue” “Something that looks warm” “something that looks dead” etc. I also included a question about what sounds he was hearing. During the session, Tim was interested initially and curious about the novelty of it. He did identify a few items on the list and then eventually became distracted. I was hoping to introduce the concept of mindfulness and increase his curiosity about nature. He was extremely computer-focused, often posting on his YouTube channel and playing video games. It seems he did not spend a lot of time outside.

Another activity I implemented with Tim was identifying two things from nature that represented what he was feeling that day. He was given permission by his parents to go outside for this. He chose a pinecone and a twig, stating that he had been “bored” at school (twig). He stated that the pinecone represented feeling annoyed at a classmate who mocked him. This was a great lead-in to discussion about bullying and standing up for himself in helpful ways.

Nature comes in many forms. During the pandemic, many of us found solace and renewal in being outside by ourselves or with others, some of us retreated inside to escape and avoid what was happening around us. We can find nature inside and outside, and it is important to do so. As human beings we are preciously connected and part of the natural world. Without that connection, we are not whole.

“We forget that nature itself is one vast miracle transcending the reality of night and nothingness. We forget that each one of us in his personal life repeats that miracle.”

Loren Eisley, American anthropologist, educator, philosopher, and natural science writer

Spring Cleaning

Written by: Nina Davey, LCPC, ATR-BC, PMH-C

Reawakening

To emerge again. 

The season of Spring draws attention to the natural shift in energy and produces momentum in our day-to-day life. Emerging from the winter hibernation, our bodies are eager to stretch and move and breathe in the fresh air. The days are longer, the weather gets warmer - The potential for change expands. 

Taking care of our mental health as the spring equinox approaches is a key element to embracing all this season has to offer and aligning with the momentum of springing forward. 

Here are a few considerations for this year's spring cleaning.

1. Connect with friends and loved ones - After being pent up through the winter months, the change in the weather warming up encourages more opportunity and desire to connect and socialize. 

2. Be mindful of the time change - When the days get longer, our boundaries with time can often expand. This is a reminder to set limits with your available time and protect your sleep hygiene with consistent routine. 

3. Start slow - Moving our bodies out of winter hibernation, it is important to listen to your body and fight the urge to sprint out of the gate. Gentle stretching and walking is a great place to start.

4. Have a plan - Spring cleaning is a great way to shed the external baggage collected over the colder months, however, without a plan, this task can often feel overwhelming. Create a plan of action and take it bit by bit. 

5. Reassess personal goals - At the start of the new year, we often set personal goals. Now is a good time to reassess those goals and make any adjustments or simply just establish new ones. 

Mandalas

Written by Becky Riley Olin, LCPC, MT-BC

I have been drawn towards mandalas lately, seeking them out in nature and in my everyday environments alongside creating them as time and space allows. Mandala is the Sanskrit word for circle; it encompasses circumference, perimeter, and center. Mandala has become a word that is synonymous with sacred space. Their very presence in the world reminds me of the sacred and divine in the universe and in oneself. The circle with no beginning and no end is a symbol for the eternal whole which contains time and space. Jung stated that the mandala is the archetype of wholeness, relating it to the Self. The mandala is one of the image archetypes that often emerges spontaneously when people are in the healing process, either in artwork or in dreams. Jung used mandalas as a tool to explore the unconscious. Jung would present his patients with a white sheet of paper with a pencil-drawn circle on it and a box of oil pastels. The directions were, “Surprise yourself.” Creating mandalas promotes the use of intuition and sensing. We can see our strengths and challenges/difficulties within the context of life’s cyclical nature. We know or sense things at a deeper level than before. I like to use Jung’s original directions when I work with mandalas. If you prefer a bit more structure to this process, here are a few step-by-step directions to get started on creating your own mandala:

It is recommended to quiet the mind and focus on your breath for a few minutes before getting started.

 Take a piece of paper or whatever size feels right to you.

 Draw a circle in the middle of it – you can use a large dinner plate as a template if you don’t have a compass.

 Take a set of colors, sit in front of the circle, and relax.

 Let yourself be drawn to a color and start with that.

 Follow whatever imagery comes up, in color, line, form, or image.

 Trust your intuition to tell you when you are finished.

"Do Less" and Other Helpful Reminders

By: Denise Migliorini, LCSW-C

 ‘Tis the season to get busy buying gifts, making family plans, or managing increased symptoms as the days shorten and the weather chills. If your responsibilities are increasing in any area of your life, it may be time to decrease pressure in other areas.

If your calendar is full of parties and obligations, let go of the house being spotless or the laundry being put away. If you can afford to outsource chores, now is the time to use your resources. If resources are scarce, forgive yourself for what isn’t happening. Eat off paper plates, let the kids wear pajamas all day or have a movie night to rest and recharge.

If your depressive or anxiety symptoms are increasing because you thrive in sunlight and warmth, give yourself space to enjoy something new inside. Find a new book at the library, some fresh markers and a coloring book, or a good show to watch. Clear out or fill up your calendar-whatever your body needs for this season. Do less of what’s “expected” and more of what fuels your soul.

Taking care of yourself during busy or challenging seasons gets to look like whatever works for you.

Why I Wake Early

By Becky Riley Olin, LCPC, MT-BC

Throughout these winter months I continued with my early morning runs each day, noticing and naming the moon phases, connecting with the fox and deer that always seem to pop up out of nowhere, and remaining in awe of the sunrise and the beautiful colors it brings to the morning sky. As I transition into March early morning running, I am especially grateful for the opportunities to witness and notice the emergence of spring alongside the completion of winter. The daffodils are blooming and the magnolia buds are swelling – I experience wonder at the risk they take in blooming despite the frost that awaits. I hear the sounds of the geese coming home, and it reminds me that we are all on our way home to a beautiful somewhere, on our way home to our beautiful selves. David Whyte writes, “If you only suddenly notice that everything has bloomed around you, you have already missed the essence of spring.” Spring is the emergence of what has been growing inside us alongside what has been growing in the outer world. We get to see this in full effect, all around us in the blooming and light of spring. Let us slow down to be present with the sensory experience and energy of spring alongside the completion of winter. Let us slow down to be present with what has been growing inside us this winter, ready to emerge and be born this spring. I leave you with Mary Oliver’s poem, Why I Wake Early, a reminder of the joy that can arise from noticing, witnessing, and taking in the beauty of spring.

Why I Wake Early
by Mary Oliver

Hello, sun in my face.
Hello, you who make the morning
and spread it over the fields
and into the faces of the tulips
and the nodding morning glories,
and into the windows of, even, the
miserable and crotchety–

best preacher that ever was,
dear star, that just happens
to be where you are in the universe
to keep us from ever-darkness,
to ease us with warm touching,
to hold us in the great hands of light–
good morning, good morning, good morning.

Watch, now, how I start the day
in happiness, in kindness.

Enough

At this midpoint of winter I start to consider what it’s like to be in process of being halfway or part way through something. This “something” can be the day, the month, the year, the season of life we are leaving and entering all at the same time. These midpoint spaces in our lives are necessary and vital to our growth, development, and healing. This time of year invites us to slow down and notice where we are in the midpoints of our own lives. It’s ok to BE exactly where we are. As I start to sense the shift towards the emergence of spring in this midpoint of winter, I have been drawn towards Andru Defeye’s poem, Enough. May we all come to know and embrace our goodness and enoughness in this world.

Enough

By Andru Defeye

You are enough

Divinity flows in your fingertips

        with light so radiant

        every beat of your heart

a victory march

made of whole universes

        stitched by the hands of creation

        with flawless design

a prophecy You fulfill perfectly with every breath

        You

The sun wouldn’t shine the same without it

Creation is only waiting for You

                to smile back at it

Do you see it yet?

You are enough

        For the birds to sing about

        For the seeds to sprout about

        For the stars to shoot about

        Do you see it yet?

        Gardens in your speech

Fields of wildflowers in your prayers

        Lighthouses in your eyes

    No one else can see it for you

You have always been enough

You will always be enough

Your simple act of being is enough

            Do you see it yet?

Written by Becky Riley Olin, LCPC, MT-BC

The Winter of Listening

As the days get shorter and the weather gets colder, I find myself turning inward more often. As nature retreats from its active, full state into a state of rest and quiet, so do I. Winter provides opportunities to move inward towards the places that call for our presence, nourishment, and care. My favorite times in winter are in the early mornings, just before sunrise. The cold crisp air along with the kind of deep silence that only occurs on these winter mornings offer me solace and many opportunities to turn towards and listen to what is inside. This line in David Whyte’s beautiful poem, The Winter of Listening, speaks to me on these mornings: “Inside everyone is a great shout of joy waiting to be born.” What joy is waiting inside of you to be born? Are you open to slowing down, noticing, and listening to what is inside this winter season?

THE WINTER OF LISTENING

by David Whyte

What is precious

inside us does not

care to be known

by the mind

in ways that diminish

its presence.

What we strive for

in perfection

is not what turns us

into the lit angel

we desire.

What disturbs

and then nourishes

has everything

we need.

What we hate

in ourselves

is what we cannot know

in ourselves but

what is true to the pattern

does not need

to be explained.

Inside everyone

is a great shout of joy

waiting to be born.

And

here

in the tumult

of the night

I hear the walnut

above the child’s swing

swaying

its dark limbs

in the wind

and the rain now

come to

beat against my window

and somewhere

in this cold night

of wind and stars

the first whispered

opening of

those hidden

and invisible springs

that uncoil

in the still summer air

each yet

to be imagined

rose.

Written by: Becky Riley Olin, LCPC, MT-BC

Mental Health Tricks and Treats

Here are a few tips to help you along your healing journey! 

• Watching a scary movie can elicit similar physical sensations in your body to those that you might feel when you’re in real danger (anxiety, panic, tense, etc.). Your body is signaling that you might be in danger, despite the fact that you are safe. Keep in mind that the physical sensations in your body significantly impact your perception of what is happening around you. 

• Have you ever smelled a scent that brought you back to a prior time in your life or triggered a specific memory? Emotions work similarly! Emotions can trigger memories of past experiences that can make you believe that you are currently reliving a similar situation. 

• Often, we communicate our emotions through describing the behavior of another person. Ex: “I feel like you don’t care about me.” In these moments we may feel unsupported, neglected, lonely, etc.  Understanding and sharing the emotions behind these statements can help improve your self-awareness and help navigate conflict. Practice communicating the emotion that you feel when an observable behavior occurs. Ex: “I feel hurt when I notice that you’re on your phone when we’re together.” 

• Many of the behaviors that are unlearned in therapy are deployed to help you avoid uncomfortable emotions. A helpful way to gain insight into which emotions are most difficult for you to feel is to ask the question: What emotions am I unwilling to feel? Shame, guilt, and loneliness are a few of the most common emotions that trigger avoidance.  

• How would I coach my younger self to deal with this emotion? A helpful way to move through difficult emotions is to communicate to yourself as if you were a kid experiencing the emotion for the first time. 

Therapy Myths

Ever wonder if therapy is right for you?

There are many stigmas around therapy and we’re here to debunk some of the myths that often come up!

1. Therapy is only for people with “serious” mental illness.

Therapy is for anyone and everyone - it is a space to explore goals, motivation, barriers to success, and find tools for healing.

2. Therapists tell their clients what to do.

Therapy is collaborative - Therapists assist their clients in finding healthy answers and resolutions that meet their needs.

3. There is a one size fits all modality.

Everyone is unique and everyone has their own personal set of needs. Each person has different experiences and perceptions of their world around them. Clinicians are able to present a variety of different modalities to meet these very specific needs.

4. You will feel better after each session.

Therapy can be hard work with short term discomfort. However, working through this discomfort can build adaptive coping skills in the long run.

5. Therapy implies there is something wrong with you.

Therapy does not have to imply there is an issue or a mental health diagnosis to address. Therapy alone can serve simply as a place of safe, non bias/non-judgmental, communication.

I want EMDR but I’m nervous! What can I expect?

All of the therapists at The Counseling Center are trained in EMDR because it’s an extremely effective treatment for many things, including depression, anxiety, past or recent trauma, or just any general area of life where you feel stuck.  We also understand, though, that it can be really scary to dive deeply into these things.

When you start talking about EMDR Therapy with your therapist, they will first answer any questions you have about it and will give you an understanding about how and why it works.  They will also discuss exactly what an EMDR session looks like so there won’t be any surprises and you’ll know exactly what to expect.  They’ll talk about how you’ll do the bilateral stimulation and have you practice it. Sometimes this is done by moving your eyes back and forth while following a light, and sometimes it’s done by tapping yourself on your shoulders or putting on headphones and listening to beeps.  You’ll also talk in advance about what “target” you’ll start with, which is usually a memory or event related to the issue you’re working on.

Also in preparation, you’ll work with your therapist on coping skills and building resources, so you’ll feel prepared to manage any emotions that might emerge during or after the EMDR sessions.  You and your therapist will talk all along the process about how ready you feel, as well as what skills your therapist thinks will help you tolerate the EMDR.  So no need to worry…by the time you do your first EMDR session, you’ll feel ready!

A few other things that are good to know about EMDR that can help ease your fears:

·      While doing EMDR, you don’t have to talk about the distressing or traumatic memories out loud.  This can be a huge relief to some clients who feel like talking about the trauma will feel too hard.

·      There is no homework with EMDR, nothing that will be required of you to do in between sessions for it to work.

·      EMDR sessions can be done at a pace that works for you, whether that’s speedy or slow and steady.

·      EMDR can be done virtually.  Talk to your therapist about whether this might be a good fit for you if you’re currently doing telehealth sessions.

Please reach out to The Counseling Center if you have any more questions about EMDR Therapy or talk to your therapist about this as an option for you.  

Spring: Honoring A Time of Growth

With spring around the corner, many of us are looking forward to longer days and warmer weather. Spring is a time of rebirth for animals and plants that have been hibernating through the cold days. This season offers us an opportunity to emerge as well with a renewed sense of wonder. With a mindset of growth and awareness, we can enjoy a time of restored energy and connectedness to our physical world.

As the world around us wakes back up from the long winter nap, notice the buds forming on trees outside your window, the sounds of birds singing, and the bright green grass after a spring shower.

These are reminders for us to emerge from hibernation as well. For us to get our bodies moving again, get outside in the sunshine and soak in the energy it provides.

However, just as the flowers close at night, birds quiet in the evening and newborn animals spend time in rest, we must also leave time for rest. This may look like sitting in your yard after cleaning up a garden- noticing the hard work you just completed, admiring an empty laundry basket after you completed a chore, or sitting down for a quiet meal after a long day of work.

Growth does not mean always being productive. It means putting in focused energy then giving our minds and bodies time to rest. As you notice new colors emerge over the next month, remind yourself that even the flowers give time for rest. 

Written by: Denise Migliorini, LCSW-C

Winter Hibernation

This past week, night time temperatures were around 11 degrees in the Towson area.  This invites thoughts of hibernating under the blankets for awhile.  Other mammals take hibernating seriously. When in hibernation a safe, warm spot is found, and the mammal moves into minimal activity and the body drops into slowed metabolic activity.  Doesn't that sound good when it is cold and dark outside?

I want to recommend that you take advantage of this winter time for a period of reflection and contemplation that will offer restoration and nourishment.  You may think that contemplation means to think about something, but consider moving out of thinking and into mindful awareness.  As there is more dark, and the natural world slows and is still we can join with this pace to find rest and peacefulness.

Nature is taking a retreat from its active state and enjoying its resting state.  How about you?  During periods of quiet and stillness we can open into a state of peaceful awareness that may simply offer rest, or may offer insight or wisdom.  You could record the directions below on your phone and play it back to have a period of meditation.

Directions:  Allow yourself to find a quiet spot, a comfortable seat or lying down, with a blanket for cover to keep you warm.  You may want to choose a spot with a view of nature, or light a candle, or play quiet music.  Once you are settled bring your attention to the body, feel the weight of the body sinking into your resting spot.  Let the whole body be heavy and observe as the breath begins to slow.  Sense the body softening, soft face, soft throat, soft shoulders, soft chest, soft belly, the whole lower body soft, the feet falling out to the side.  Notice the rhythm of the breath and move back into awareness of the breath, you are now the observer, resting in awareness.  Allow yourself to feel the deep rest and renewal that is here.  Allow yourself to simply notice and allow whatever is moving through awareness.  Rest here as long as you like. When you are ready to return your attention to the space around you take a few moments to stretch.  You may want to take a few minutes to journal about your experience.

Written by: Gayle Bohlman, LCSW-C

Another Unprecedented Holiday Season

It’s hard to believe it has been a full year since we were talking about how to create a meaningful holiday season amidst all the uncertainty and fear of COVID-19.  And yet here we are, trying to figure out, again, how to be present during these holidays in a way that is meaningful while also recognizes the myriad of changes from 2021.

Here are a few things to keep in mind as the holidays near:

• Although the world is moving on in a lot of respects, it’s ok if you’re not ready to.  You’re allowed to re-emerge back into the world at your pace, in whatever way feels safest to you.  You can still say no to holiday gatherings.  You can still set boundaries for yourself and your family.

• It’s ok to hold onto things that worked from 2020.  If you spent your holiday away from family in 2020 out of necessity, but you found that you actually enjoyed it, it’s ok to do it again this year!

• It’s ok to not be excited about the holidays.  Although different from 2020, 2021 also brought a lot of grief, loss, and stress.  It’s ok if you can’t just forget all of that and “get into the holiday spirit.”

• It’s also ok if you are excited about the holidays!  For many people, the holidays are a time to celebrate with friends and family.  If this is true for you, let yourself enjoy it!

Let compassion be your guide.  Be gentle with yourself and the challenges that the holidays can bring.  Do the best you can in each moment, and let that be good enough.  You deserve some kindness!

Reach out for support if you need it.  Let friends and family support you, and turn to the therapists at The Counseling Center for additional support as well!

8 Helpful Ways to Manage Anxiety

1.       Normalize Our Anxiety 

 Experiencing anxiety is a very normal, human experience. The stigma surrounding mental health prevents many from talking about their experiences with anxiety which can make us feel like we are alone. We are not alone. Anxiety is an experience that everyone has. 

2.       Get Support 

Most challenges that we experience are easier to manage with the support of others. Finding a therapist, friend group, support group, etc. can be very helpful. Learn the ways that we like to be supported and educate those around us to support us in those ways. 

3.       Supportive Self-Talk 

Self-talk has a significant impact on our mood and overall self-esteem. Communicating to ourselves in a supportive way can help decrease anxiety-related symptoms. This might sound like: 

“Right now, I feel uncomfortable, but I know that this discomfort will soon pass.” 

“I know that I am capable of getting through difficult situations. I will get through this.” 

“I feel uncomfortable, but I know that I am safe.” 

“It makes sense that I’m experiencing anxiety right now. There is no shame in experiencing anxiety.” 

4.       Assessing Automatic Thoughts 

Automatic thoughts are thoughts that have been habitually repeated, causing them to occur instantaneously without conscious effort. After being passed on for a promotion, our automatic thought might be to tell ourselves that we are not good enough. Assessing or journaling these thoughts can give us an opportunity to become more self-aware and increases our ability to challenge these thoughts. 

5.       Assessing Physical Sensations 

Paying close attention to what our body does when we are experiencing anxiety is invaluable. Our body often recognizes that we are experiencing an emotion before we consciously realize it. Becoming more aware of these physical sensations allows us to understand our emotions better and regulate our emotions sooner. 

6.       Relaxation 

Developing a relaxation practice is extremely helpful in managing anxiety. Mindfulness, meditation, breath work, and muscle relaxation are just a few examples of what this can look like. Learning how to regulate your nervous system increases our ability to assess and respond to our surroundings in an adaptive way. 

7.       Assess physical health 

Anxiety can be impacted by sleep related issues, substances (alcohol, coffee, etc.), and other underlying health related issues.  

8.       Practice. Practice. Practice. 

Implementing these skills when you are NOT experiencing anxiety can be one of the most helpful things that you can do. These skills take time to master. Mastering them when we are calm, makes it easier for us to access them when we are anxious.  

 Written by: James Spruill, LMSW

Less is More

As summer ends and the school year begins, we return to the season of stocking up on school supplies, new clothes, and all the new must have accessories to make life “easier.” We fill up our target carts, receive weekly or daily amazon packages on our front step and sign our children up for sports, dance, tutoring, and clubs.

Eventually, we look up and our calendars are full, our wallets empty and our stress at an all time high. We are inundated with ads telling us we need the latest back to school styles and watch as people around us fall into the same routine as years before.

As the fall season kicks into gear, we have the chance to reflect back on 2020 when we had an opportunity to slow down and do less. We were provided a gift of slower pace and empty space as the world closed down and forced us to slow down. Although the last year and a half has been challenging and full of loss, we can take with us the gift of less being more.  

Less on our schedules allows more quality time with our children, partners, and friends. Less items in our carts allows for deeper engagement with what we have. Less gadgets in our homes allows for less time managing things and more time doing what we love.

We have the chance to do back-to-school differently this year and set a slower, healthier pace for the next 9 months.  As the summer comes to an end and the weather cools down, I encourage you to find the joy and beauty in less.

 Written by: Denise Migliorini, LCSW-C