Winter Hibernation

This past week, night time temperatures were around 11 degrees in the Towson area.  This invites thoughts of hibernating under the blankets for awhile.  Other mammals take hibernating seriously. When in hibernation a safe, warm spot is found, and the mammal moves into minimal activity and the body drops into slowed metabolic activity.  Doesn't that sound good when it is cold and dark outside?

I want to recommend that you take advantage of this winter time for a period of reflection and contemplation that will offer restoration and nourishment.  You may think that contemplation means to think about something, but consider moving out of thinking and into mindful awareness.  As there is more dark, and the natural world slows and is still we can join with this pace to find rest and peacefulness.

Nature is taking a retreat from its active state and enjoying its resting state.  How about you?  During periods of quiet and stillness we can open into a state of peaceful awareness that may simply offer rest, or may offer insight or wisdom.  You could record the directions below on your phone and play it back to have a period of meditation.

Directions:  Allow yourself to find a quiet spot, a comfortable seat or lying down, with a blanket for cover to keep you warm.  You may want to choose a spot with a view of nature, or light a candle, or play quiet music.  Once you are settled bring your attention to the body, feel the weight of the body sinking into your resting spot.  Let the whole body be heavy and observe as the breath begins to slow.  Sense the body softening, soft face, soft throat, soft shoulders, soft chest, soft belly, the whole lower body soft, the feet falling out to the side.  Notice the rhythm of the breath and move back into awareness of the breath, you are now the observer, resting in awareness.  Allow yourself to feel the deep rest and renewal that is here.  Allow yourself to simply notice and allow whatever is moving through awareness.  Rest here as long as you like. When you are ready to return your attention to the space around you take a few moments to stretch.  You may want to take a few minutes to journal about your experience.

Written by: Gayle Bohlman, LCSW-C

Another Unprecedented Holiday Season

It’s hard to believe it has been a full year since we were talking about how to create a meaningful holiday season amidst all the uncertainty and fear of COVID-19.  And yet here we are, trying to figure out, again, how to be present during these holidays in a way that is meaningful while also recognizes the myriad of changes from 2021.

Here are a few things to keep in mind as the holidays near:

• Although the world is moving on in a lot of respects, it’s ok if you’re not ready to.  You’re allowed to re-emerge back into the world at your pace, in whatever way feels safest to you.  You can still say no to holiday gatherings.  You can still set boundaries for yourself and your family.

• It’s ok to hold onto things that worked from 2020.  If you spent your holiday away from family in 2020 out of necessity, but you found that you actually enjoyed it, it’s ok to do it again this year!

• It’s ok to not be excited about the holidays.  Although different from 2020, 2021 also brought a lot of grief, loss, and stress.  It’s ok if you can’t just forget all of that and “get into the holiday spirit.”

• It’s also ok if you are excited about the holidays!  For many people, the holidays are a time to celebrate with friends and family.  If this is true for you, let yourself enjoy it!

Let compassion be your guide.  Be gentle with yourself and the challenges that the holidays can bring.  Do the best you can in each moment, and let that be good enough.  You deserve some kindness!

Reach out for support if you need it.  Let friends and family support you, and turn to the therapists at The Counseling Center for additional support as well!

8 Helpful Ways to Manage Anxiety

1.       Normalize Our Anxiety 

 Experiencing anxiety is a very normal, human experience. The stigma surrounding mental health prevents many from talking about their experiences with anxiety which can make us feel like we are alone. We are not alone. Anxiety is an experience that everyone has. 

2.       Get Support 

Most challenges that we experience are easier to manage with the support of others. Finding a therapist, friend group, support group, etc. can be very helpful. Learn the ways that we like to be supported and educate those around us to support us in those ways. 

3.       Supportive Self-Talk 

Self-talk has a significant impact on our mood and overall self-esteem. Communicating to ourselves in a supportive way can help decrease anxiety-related symptoms. This might sound like: 

“Right now, I feel uncomfortable, but I know that this discomfort will soon pass.” 

“I know that I am capable of getting through difficult situations. I will get through this.” 

“I feel uncomfortable, but I know that I am safe.” 

“It makes sense that I’m experiencing anxiety right now. There is no shame in experiencing anxiety.” 

4.       Assessing Automatic Thoughts 

Automatic thoughts are thoughts that have been habitually repeated, causing them to occur instantaneously without conscious effort. After being passed on for a promotion, our automatic thought might be to tell ourselves that we are not good enough. Assessing or journaling these thoughts can give us an opportunity to become more self-aware and increases our ability to challenge these thoughts. 

5.       Assessing Physical Sensations 

Paying close attention to what our body does when we are experiencing anxiety is invaluable. Our body often recognizes that we are experiencing an emotion before we consciously realize it. Becoming more aware of these physical sensations allows us to understand our emotions better and regulate our emotions sooner. 

6.       Relaxation 

Developing a relaxation practice is extremely helpful in managing anxiety. Mindfulness, meditation, breath work, and muscle relaxation are just a few examples of what this can look like. Learning how to regulate your nervous system increases our ability to assess and respond to our surroundings in an adaptive way. 

7.       Assess physical health 

Anxiety can be impacted by sleep related issues, substances (alcohol, coffee, etc.), and other underlying health related issues.  

8.       Practice. Practice. Practice. 

Implementing these skills when you are NOT experiencing anxiety can be one of the most helpful things that you can do. These skills take time to master. Mastering them when we are calm, makes it easier for us to access them when we are anxious.  

 Written by: James Spruill, LMSW

Less is More

As summer ends and the school year begins, we return to the season of stocking up on school supplies, new clothes, and all the new must have accessories to make life “easier.” We fill up our target carts, receive weekly or daily amazon packages on our front step and sign our children up for sports, dance, tutoring, and clubs.

Eventually, we look up and our calendars are full, our wallets empty and our stress at an all time high. We are inundated with ads telling us we need the latest back to school styles and watch as people around us fall into the same routine as years before.

As the fall season kicks into gear, we have the chance to reflect back on 2020 when we had an opportunity to slow down and do less. We were provided a gift of slower pace and empty space as the world closed down and forced us to slow down. Although the last year and a half has been challenging and full of loss, we can take with us the gift of less being more.  

Less on our schedules allows more quality time with our children, partners, and friends. Less items in our carts allows for deeper engagement with what we have. Less gadgets in our homes allows for less time managing things and more time doing what we love.

We have the chance to do back-to-school differently this year and set a slower, healthier pace for the next 9 months.  As the summer comes to an end and the weather cools down, I encourage you to find the joy and beauty in less.

 Written by: Denise Migliorini, LCSW-C

All about Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a comprehensive cognitive behavioral therapy that can be effective in treating a variety of problems including suicidal thinking, self-injurious behaviors, depression, impulsive behaviors, and substance use. DBT emphasizes that we need to learn more adaptive skills to replace the behaviors that are not serving us and to address the problems that are causing difficulty in our lives. 

DBT is derived from the philosophical process of dialectics: the balancing of opposites. Therapists who practice DBT form a therapeutic alliance and cultivate healing through dialectically balancing acceptance with change strategies.  DBT emphasizes an accepting, non-judgmental, and validating approach to clients. Therapists utilizing a DBT approach strive to understand their client’s feelings, thoughts, and behaviors make sense given the context of their unique situation. 

DBT can be practiced in individual and group settings and is largely skills-based. Standard DBT contains four modules: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. As with any new skill, these skills often require a lot of practice. Let’s start here!

Mindfulness Skills: Mindfulness skills teach us how to observe and experience reality as it is, to be less judgmental, and to live in the moment with effectiveness.   

• Walking Down the Spiral Stairs: Imagine that within you is a spiral staircase, winding down to your very center. Starting at the top walk very slowly down the staircase, going deeper and deeper within yourself. Notice the sensations. Rest by sitting on a step, or turn on the lights on the way down if you wish. Do not force yourself to go further than you want to go. Notice the quiet. As you reach the center of your self, settle your attention there—perhaps in your gut or abdomen. 

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills: Interpersonal Effectiveness skills help us to manage interpersonal conflicts effectively and maintain and improve relationships with other people. 

• Keeping Respect for Yourself (FAST): 

(Be) Fair- Be fair to yourself and to the other person. Remember to validate your own values and wishes as well as the other persons. 

(No) Apologies- Don’t over apologize. No apologizing for making a request, having an opinion, or disagreeing. 

Stick to Values- Don’t sell out your values and/or integrity.

(Be) Truthful- Don’t lie. Don’t act helpless when you’re not. Don’t exaggerate and make up excuses. 

Emotional Regulation: Emotion Regulation Skills help us to manage emotions.

• Taking Care of Your Mind and Taking Care of Your Body (PLEASE): 

PL: Treat Physical Illness- Tale care of your body. See a doctor when necessary. Take Prescribed Medication

E: Balance Eating

A: Avoid Mood-Altering Substances

S: Balance Sleep- 7-9 hours of sleep each night

E: Get Exercise- Try to build up to 20 minutes of daily exercise

Distress Tolerance: Distress Tolerance skills help us to learn to tolerate and survive crisis without making things worse.

• Changing Body Chemistry with TIP Skills

T: Tip the Temperature- use cold water to change emotions

I: Intense Exercise

P: Paced Breathing and Paired Muscle Relaxation

(Linehan, 2015). 

Written by Kimberly Bonsiero, LCSW-C

Read more about Kim HERE.